Not so cold, not too late
by nnefertari
Summary: After discovering his true heritage, Loki turns his rage and hurt to Thor, who is still vulnerable on Midgard as a mortal. Loki means to shed blood and inflict pain, so why is he the one crying? Thor has some good and some bad ideas that day, but in the end makes everything awfully simple. Warning for some blood. Angst, fluff, slash.


A/N: Based on a norsekink prompt - AU where Odin doesn't fall into Odinsleep after the confontation with Loki and so Loki has to find other ways to channel his rage than plotting as he did in the movie.

Disclaimer: Characters not mine. Thanks to Kerry for beta-reading this story.

* * *

"You know, it all makes sense now, why you favoured Thor all these years, because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!"

"I did not favour Thor. You are both my sons and I love you equally," continued the Allfather patiently, successfully warding off the dizzy spell that almost got hold of him, a clear sign that he should soon retire to Odin sleep.

Loki was regaining control of himself, ceasing his screaming and renewing his stone-faced expression and quiet, hateful words.

"I cannot stand the sight of you. "

He moved swiftly, holding himself up with pride and anger, walking right Odin and out of the vault without the slightest show of the respect due.

Odin followed him at a great distance, guilt heavy in his chest. Once he saw that Loki had no other destination than his rooms, he retreated, preparing himself to share the dreadful news with his wife.

* * *

Loki stepped into his chambers, pausing for a second to make sure that no servant was either in the parlour or his bedroom before he picked the nearest object and hurled it against a wall with a shout.

His rage couldn't be put into words. He was used, he was played and he was lied to. His whole life he fought for something that his very nature denied him. A Frost Giant. A monster. An abandoned baby taken to be used as the flattering support of the true son. What would Thor's golden greatness be without the mirror of his dark, weak brother?

Thor.

Everything in Loki threatened to spill. Mere days ago, he was forced to watch his silly, stupid brother walk down the Throne room, making the crowds go wild with his glory, kneeling down before the Allfather and yelling out his vows as if he could ever own up to them. He didn't let that finish of course, that would have been the doom of the whole of Asgard and so Thor led them into Jotunheim where Loki found his own, personal doom.

He could remember the moment vividly.

_Seconds ago, he heard the warning about the devastating result of the Frost Giants' touch, but then Fandral had gotten hurt and he hurried to help, caught in the flurry of the battle. The Jotun had gotten too close, grabbing Loki's arm and squeezing until the cold and the force broke away his armour, leaving his flesh vulnerable to frost bite. It didn't come. Instead, a chilled, tingling sensation spread though him and his arm took on a startling blue hue._

And it was all Thor's fault. If he hadn't been so reckless, so foolish – dragging them all to Jotunheim! What had he been thinking? Nothing, of course. That's exactly what Thor did all the time. And yet, all was to be handed to him. It was his birth right. Everything he did-

Loki wavered on his feet, his thoughts coming so quickly and his emotions swirling so messily that he possessed little control over himself. He sunk down to his knees, clutching his head desperately, trying to find at least some sense in all the craziness.

One though kept coming back. Thor.

Thor.

There would never be a reason to take him if Thor wasn't already born.

His whole life was filled with Thor. Fighting him. Fighting for his affection.

Thor took him to Jotunheim.

Thor must pay.

Yes.

Raising his head, Loki suddenly felt calm. Finding a new goal and a new purpose helped him focus. He was strong while Thor was now weak, stripped of his powers and without Mjolnir at his call. He would take his revenge.

The preparations weren't complicated. Ward off his rooms so that it seemed he was still there, unwilling to see anybody rather than being gone. A cloaking spell to hide him from Heimdall's view. Conjure himself to the outskirts of the city where the nearest ripple in space was. Walk on the strings of the universe until he caught the signature of Thor's grand travel through the Bi-frost. Land where he did.

Five simple steps, performed with cold calculation and he was here.

'Here' was really just a patch of desert and Loki wrinkled up his nose. He never did like Midgard.

The place didn't seem to prove so useless after all, because even from his landing site, Loki could see a small settlement and he wasted no time appearing there. Thor was near, he could sense him. He itched to go grab him, but other matters had to be seen to first.

He soon found an empty hall on the edge of the small town which would suit him just fine. It seemed to some sort of abandoned storage place, dark and dusty. He waved his hands, murmuring quiet words, too strung up to bother with doing anything manually. He was soon done and set out. Time for the main event.

He followed his senses and in mere minutes, he stood in front of a shabby looking building with glass doors, watching Thor... cook?

He wasn't alone and soon one of those mortals spotted him and with a great deal of waving and yelling, Thor's attention was turned to him

Loki smiled, knowing that Thor wouldn't be able to recognize the underlying danger.

"Brother!" he cried merrily, stepping out to meet Loki.

"Hello," purred Loki.

"What are you doing here? Come meet my friends!" Thor was practically bouncing as he gestured towards the mortals. Loki gave them a cold look. Two women and an old man.

"I am afraid I must decline. We have some business to do."

"Did Father send you? Can I come home?" asked Thor hopefully, growing more serious.

Loki moved lightning fast, striking Thor hard in the head and watched him collapse to the ground, unconscious. So easy.

"No," he whispered with satisfaction, ignoring the shocked screams of Thor's new Midgardian friends as he whisked Thor and himself to the hall.

* * *

Thor slowly came to, confused and with a hurting head. Unsettled, he discovered he was tied to a chair and quickly tried to break the restrains, to no avail. The chair was metal and sturdy, screwed to the floor and while he could tear the thick ropes that bound his legs and hands on a bad day back home, without his powers they wouldn't budge.

But what was he doing here? Loki came to see him... and then he... attacked Thor?

"Awake I see. You've kept me waiting long enough."

Thor startled and tried to turn around to see where Loki's voice was coming from. He sounded... mad. Not yelling, no, but the quiet, dangerous tone that Thor heard only several times, never directed at him though.

"Loki? What is this? What are you doing?"

Loki came into his view, fingers entwined behind his back, pacing steadily with the deceptive demeanour of calmness. Even Thor could see that Loki was anything but calm.

"I have had enough of you."

"Loki?" Thor scrunched his face in hurt surprise.

"You are not my brother," continued Loki, now standing right in front of Thor, legs spread in wide, steady stance as he gazed hatefully down at Thor.

"Of course I am your brother!" objected Thor heatedly. Anything he might have wanted to say next was cut off however as Loki harshly backhanded him. Thor couldn't stop the yelp of pain – his head was still sore from being knocked out and Loki's strength was now incomparable to his.

"No. You are not. I will explain. But we shall make a game of it."

Thor swallowed. Loki's games could be borderline malicious even if he was in a good mood.

"Loki, do not do this."

"Why, you don't even know yet what I have in mind!" countered Loki, walking away to Thor's right into the shadows where Thor couldn't see what he was doing.

When he returned, Thor blinked and a hint of fear bloomed in his chest. Loki was holding a knife, a dagger really, long and sharp.

"The game is simple, Thor. I talk and you bleed."

"Must I remind you that Father stripped me of my powers? Do you realize how fragile this mortal form is?"

Something flashed in Loki's eyes and Thor regretted bringing up his weakness like that.

"Oh, yes. _Father_. I like this, Thor. You already know how to play."

"What?"

Thor was fully confused now. What was Loki talking about? Nothing made sense.

Loki clicked his fingers and Thor's borrowed t-shirt disappeared. Then he stalked closer; a wild, crazy grin spreading his lips. The dagger flashed in his hand and before Thor could even register the movement; there was a long, not too deep cut just below his collar bone. He bit his lip, trying to ignore the burn and watched two streaks of blood trickle down.

"There. War with Jotunheim."

"What? We are at war?"

"Not now, you idiot. The one a thousand years ago."

"Loki, have you gone mad? What are you on about?"

Another cut was shorter, but deeper, the dagger dipping between Thor's ribs. He yelled out, eyes watering.

"Laufey leaving his son out in the snow to die."

Cut on the shoulder.

"Odin. Deciding that the Casket of Great Winters wasn't enough of a souvenir."

Deep gash going just above navel.

"Taking a baby."

Small nick too close to the neck artery.

"And naming it Loki."

"Loki, this is madness. What could you be possibly talking about?"

Loki grabbed his hair harshly, tugging it until Thor's head was tilted back. Thor gasped his wounds hurting with the movement. Loki was pressed against him, towering over him angrily.

"Didn't you hear me? I talk and you bleed. Do not think for a second that I am not perfectly serious, _Odinson_! I am not your brother! I am a Frost Giant! In a way, it's a loss for you, you know. You weren't chosen for the throne of Asgard over me. You were always the only option. The only son."

"Loki..." Thor's voice was soft and full of compassion. Loki frowned. "I am so sorry. Are you sure it is true?"

Loki stared at him for a long time, still holding Thor's hair and keeping their faces close. This wasn't the way it was meant to go. Thor was supposed to fight, to yell, to be disgusted.

"Yes, I am sure. I owe it to you, of course. You and your stupid idea to go to Jotunheim. Turns out that I don't get frostbitten when one of them touches me. Instead I just go blue."

Thor's eyes widened and he allowed himself a little smile. "Now, Loki, don't be silly. You are a sorcerer and a shape-shifter. Perhaps it was just a defensive reaction."

"Defensive reaction?" repeated Loki, his grip tightening and Thor jumped when the tip of the dagger was pressed against his skin. "You are so eloquent. I might have even appreciated it, if the Allfather hadn't explained to me, just hours ago, how he thought that I might unite the kingdoms. A token of peace. Except that's not important anymore. So... where does that leave me?"

"Loki, that's... that's really not fair. He should have told you when you were no longer a child."

Thor was staring up at Loki sadly, still trying to wrap his mind around this revelation. Loki was a Jotun... adopted.

Loki couldn't handle how big and sorrowful Thor's eyes were.

"You are still my brother and I love you. Nothing will change that."

Loki let go of Thor and jumped away as if burned. His face was twisted in anger.

"No! How stupid can you be?!"

He slashed Thor twice with the dagger across the chest, but his hand was already shaking.

"You are not my brother, do you hear me? I hate you! I am a monster and I should kill you right now!" screamed Loki, furious. He quickly wiped at his face, tears almost spilling from his eyes.

He almost couldn't look at Thor. He wanted to tear him apart with his bare hands, to get the pitying expression from his big, handsome face.

It was his fault. He remembered standing in the bone-chilling, desolate place, wind howling and snow falling slowly. He was afraid; he had been from the moment Heimdall agreed to let them go. He'd had to fight the urge to look over his shoulder, hoping that Odin would appear any second, warned by the guard that he had spoken to. But that hadn't gone as he meant it to and now he was standing by his brother's side, looking up at Laufey who towered over them, red eyes blazing in the long, monstrous face. His father. His actual father. Loki felt like screaming. He hadn't known that when he stood there. He spoke to him, grovelling for their lives when his brother seemed set on getting them all killed.

He imagined coming back there. Should he reveal his identity? What would he say? "Hello, Father! Remember when you left me to die? Well, here I am. Prince of the Aesir. That hadn't gone well, had it?"

As soon as he thought that, it was as if something pummelled his insides. He didn't have home. He didn't have family. He was neither Jotun nor Aesir. He was _nothing_.

Thor's voice interrupted his thoughts – he had drifted off, almost drowning in the onslaught of hurt and anger.

"Loki, please... come here." A pause. "I would hug you, but you bound me to the chair."

Loki laugh, an unnaturally high laugh with more than a hint of hysteria.

"You think a hug would fix anything? Are you really too thick-headed to understand anything? A Frost Giant, Thor! I am a damn Frost Giant and I was-"

Loki was cut off by a loud sob that he simply couldn't suppress. His strength was drained with all the turmoil and the dagger clattered to the ground. Loki took two more faltering steps and collapsed onto Thor's lap, wrapping his hands around him and letting the sobs shake his body. Thor could only lean forward, hooking his chin to Loki's shoulder and hushing him softly.

"It is going to be all right. You're still the most important person in my life. I love you."

Loki just squeezed him harder and cried louder.

Thor felt helpless. He wanted to calm Loki, to reassure him, but what could he say? They were both brought up with stories about the evil, monstrous Jotuns and how their Father defeated them heroically. Thor was angry with his parents. They should have told them the truth centuries ago. That was the right thing to do.

"Untie my hands, please," he whispered to Loki whose breath hitched in response and the ropes disappeared. Thor wasted no time crushing Loki against his chest, though his cuts burned in protest. Loki was tense now, no longer sobbing and his face still pressed to Thor's neck.

"You should kill me."

"Do not ever say something like that," growled Thor angrily, pressing Loki even closer, one hand coming up to stroke his hair. Despite the madness of the situation, he felt warmth tingling through his body, content with the closeness of Loki. He pressed his lips into Loki's hair, kissing him gently.

"None of this is your fault. You were brought up as the prince of Aesir and that's who you are."

Loki pulled back, looking Thor in the eyes, shoulders hunched in defeat, opening his mouth to say something, but his clothes had stuck to some of Thor's cuts and he winced as the separation caused him pain. Loki looked at what he had done with horror.

"Gods, Thor! I am so sorry!" One hand flew to his mouth as he traced fingers of the other over the blood. "See? This is exactly..."

Several big tears slid down Loki's cheek, though he was trying to hold himself from crying again as he healed the cuts one by one. Thor sighed in relief and as soon as the last one was done, he grasped Loki again, sensing that he might want to bolt.

"Stay with me here on Midgard for a while. I am sure you don't wish to see Father. And you have every right to be mad."

Thor cupped Loki's cheek. "Please."

"You should be angry with me," said Loki disbelievingly. "I kidnapped you and hurt you."

"And I forgive you," rolled Thor his eyes. Loki breathed in relief against his will. Thor could feel it, his face so close to Loki's. He wished to stay this intimate forever.

Thor's deepest secret, his one dark desire was making itself known. _If Loki isn't really your brother,_ whispered a voice in his head. He immediately denied this. Loki _was _his brother, that was the whole point. He would contradict everything he had just said if he suddenly started to act as if Loki and he weren't related.

"What's wrong?" asked Loki, voice small. Something must have shown in Thor's features.

"Nothing. I... I love you. That's all." There. That was the truth. Loki could accept it as brotherly love.

Loki fought tears again. There was enough of the disgusting snivelling. He had really lost control. He stood up quickly, turning around to wipe his face.

He felt cold inside. He shouldn't have shown Thor just how much this had hurt him. Thor was rash and reckless. One moment he would be telling Loki of his affection, and in a second he would be capable of throwing everything back in his face in a fit of anger.

He turned around, straightening. Thor's legs were still bound and he sat patiently, waiting for Loki to speak, but he frowned a bit when he saw Loki's hard expression.

"Loki-" he begun, but it was too late. The ropes were back around his arms and the dagger materialized in Loki's hand again.

"How touching," hissed Loki.

"Untie my hands, brother, please, so I can hug you?" he continued in a mocking, high-pitched voice. "How naïve do you think I am? I watched you kill about a hundred Frost Giants just days ago. I listened to you bragging about slaying all the monsters when you were big enough our entire childhood. Why should I be any different?"

Thor was speechless, still trying to process Loki's sudden change. Minutes ago, he had his brother on his lap, seeking comfort, apologizing and now he looked pent up enough to murder Thor.

"You think," said Thor slowly. "That I would want to hurt you?"

This seemed to enrage Loki and he cut Thor again.

"Well, we shall see. If you are capable of any thought when I am done with you, that is."

"Can you turn?" shot out Thor without a thought.

"What?"

"Can you change? Into a Frost Giant," repeated Thor, quite afraid that he had just damned them both. Loki would kill him for this and that was not an outcome he wanted for either of them.

Loki had to bite his lip to stop himself from sputtering. His hand holding the dagger itched with the urge to bury it deep into Thor stomach.

"Why?"

"I would like to see you that way," explained Thor carefully.

"I see. Perhaps so that you could hate me properly?" seethed Loki.

"I do not hate you. Just show me."

Loki wasn't even sure he could. The only two times he changed his appearance to his natural one was in contact with another – the Giant he killed and then the Casket. He tried to recall what he had felt and bring it out again. Eyes screwed shut in concentration; it was only Thor's quiet gasp that told him he was successful. He glanced at his hands, just to be sure. Yes. Blue.

Thor looked at Loki in surprise. He was still the same height, that was something he didn't expect. His skin was deep blue, without a hint of grey that he had seen on some of the Jotuns.

"You look almost the same," he blurted out. Loki just raised his eyebrows.

"It's true. Your face... you are still you. You're blue and you have... some markings on your forehead. And red eyes... but really. It's just like..." Thor trailed off, words failing him. Loki was staring at him and he realized something. "You haven't actually seen yourself, have you?"

"Yes, of course, my first reaction to finding out was to go find a mirror and admire my new colouring" sneered at him Loki sarcastically, but his tone lacked heat.

"You can conjure one, can't you? A mirror?"

"What are you trying to do, Thor? Get me to hate myself enough so that I would kill myself and not you?"

"I am trying to make you see that not everything has to change!" yelled Thor back at him, losing his patience a bit. Loki rolled his eyes and hiding any fear from his face, he clicked his fingers and a big mirror appeared in front of him. He almost jumped back.

Thor wasn't lying. It was still him. He looked odd, clad in black and green from neck to toe, only his hands and face sticking out in ugly contrast.

He hated it. He hated every millimetre of his being. When he changed after touching the Casket and finding out the truth from Odin, he had imagined himself as another faceless monster, with ridges and gashes, ugly and anonymous.

But it was him. This monster was wearing his face.

The mirror exploded violently and Loki could distantly hear Thor shout as some of the sharp pieces dug into his skin. He looked around in confusion. At some point, he must have sunk to his knees, because he was on the ground. And he was Aesir again, judging from his hands. And he was bleeding. He looked up. So was Thor.

Thor would slap himself if he could. This was probably the worst idea he had had the whole day.

Loki wordlessly looked at his reflection for a minute and then had the mirror shatter, showering them both with shrapnel and then Loki simply collapsed as the blue seeped away from his skin. Now he just sat at the floor, looking absolutely lost.

"Loki," he tried gently.

Loki was stared at him owlishly, eyes wide and confused. Then he blinked, squinting his eyes as he tried to focus. Thor watched as he raised one hand and was momentarily afraid, but then all his binding were gone and he lunged from the chair and gathered, now shivering, Loki in his arms.

There was a cut on his cheek and Thor wiped the blood away.

"You should heal yourself," he told Loki while sitting on the floor, pulling Loki against him and onto his lap.

Loki healed him instead, the one single cut from the dagger and the many small others from the shards of the mirror – where Loki was protected by his clothing, Thor was half-naked and gotten the worst.

"All right, thank you. Now yourself. Here." Taking Loki's hand into his own, he guided his fingers to the small wound and watched it disappear. Loki's hand then slipped away, but Thor slid his own fingers against the smooth skin, wiping away any remaining blood.

He couldn't really help himself. He should be talking to Loki, saying he was sorry for making him look. But Thor wasn't really one for talking. So instead he leaned forward and kissed Loki's cheek. It would be a perfectly innocent gesture if he hadn't lingered for so long. He hadn't even begun to pull away when Loki withdraw just a bit and turned to face him. They were painfully close.

"What are you doing?"

Loki was slowly coming from the near-catatonic state that got hold of him after he saw his Jotun form in the mirror. Thor was being even more touchy than usual and now he was... staring at Loki's lips? What had he missed here?

Thor slid his fingers into Loki's hair again, holding him close. He could feel Loki's breath on his own lips and it made him imagine how his brother – no, how Loki would taste. Some part of him was urging him to go on, to try. Loki was in pain, lost. He wanted to find him, to make him better, to make him feel pleasure and happiness.

Loki realized Thor's intention just a split second too late and their lips touched before he could move away. And after that, he simply didn't want to.

He didn't know what possessed Thor to do it. Or why he wasn't pushing him away. Voices were screaming in his head – _he's your brother _and then _no, he's not _and a rather bitter _well, he got over not being your brother pretty fast_, but none of it really mattered.

It was Thor who reluctantly broke away, looking at Loki expectantly.

"What was that?" asked Loki very quietly.

"Best idea I've had all day," replied Thor with a half-smile, heart thundering as he waited for Loki's verdict. His answer amused Loki and a small, but real, smile appeared on his face.

"We will live through this, Loki," continued Thor, more serious. "Look at me – I am mortal now. I know it is not the same at all, but it was not easy being thrown into this realm. Everything is very different here. I had to adjust and so will you."

Loki felt the cold grip on his heart loosen just a bit. Thor was looking at him hopefully, eyes shining with love and trust.

"I am sure your powers will return to you soon," noted Loki.

"That's possible. But we can stay here however long you want. Come meet my new friends, they are very nice people."

"They just saw me hit you over the head and disappear with you. I doubt they will like me."

"Jane hit me with her car when we met. And then once more. Maybe you will have even more things in common."

"Fine, fine..."

They scrambled off the floor, slightly dirty and bloody which Loki quickly repaired with magic and as soon as Thor redressed, they set out, hand in hand.

"Thor?"

"Yes?"

"What is a car?"


End file.
